Letter to Daftness

Dear Daftness

That alliteration is a great start to a letter … It is easing me in gently, with a smile, as I start to contemplate you … Dear Daftness …

Close family and friends know I have a certain delightfully, or dangerously daft quality; and to the world at large I often try to cap it or limit how much I show of it … It’s there though, part of who I am and what I do …

The thing with me is, that I love to present a professional and polished gloss to the world … Yet, so often, I’m daft … And that’s not a criticism of myself – it’s a simple description … And growing older and wiser (as well as dafter …) I’ve learnt more and more that it’s OK to show these true colours, and embrace them, and let the world see them; and then the world can decide to shirk me for it, love me for it or indeed not give a damn about my daftness … so there it is, in all it’s daft technicolour glory …

So Daftness is … being forgetful, being late, being trivial, being accident prone, being indecisive, being wantonly childish, losing self control. Sometimes it is so much me that it feels like my own brand of alien significance – defining me, slowing me down, making me cry with frustration or laugh with the Peachey familiarity of it … Daftness …

And I wonder what the reader will think – those that know me in body and place … Is that the me they recognise ..? And for some it may be a shock that I believe this of myself, and others will smile in recognition … and for others again, it may just open more doors onto their own knowing of me … and for others still, who know me from these letters alone – mere anecdote …

Now, I have consciously drawn into my orbit those that I can SAFELY be daft with … Because sometimes, believe you me, I have been vilified for it and lost jobs and people in my life because of it … Yet it is ME … imprinted in my DNA, I simply can’t change it … Though if I try hard … I can manage it and have done a damn good job of presenting my ‘got together’ professional face to the world; but that can be hard work sometimes … and more often than not – my inner clown will trip me up or show me up, and the spotlight shakes the real me out into the open.

So, true to Peachey form, at times I am good with the daft, and at times I truly hate it.  And though I KNEW that being daft and proud is all good, I probably never really GOT that, until these last few weeks since my mother’s passing … She died 2 weeks ago and so at times my brain is the consistency of a marshmallow, and I can feel like a little lost orphan, and ‘doing’ or deciding what to do with a day is difficult; and ‘being’, and being in certain places is really hard work; and patience is thin and energy is low, and the daftness quotient goes through the rude roof.

At times too, I’m on top of the world and out there in it – being amazing … it is indeed weird to be me right now … My mother passing has somehow bought out some of the worse in me and all of the best me of me, and made me ‘more so’ – in just about EVERY way.

So Love is a complicated and many splintered thing, and this is, of course, a Love Letter to Daftness.  I’m definitely more daft right now… but you know what?  I’ve realised that it is all good; I’ve decided to give in to it and to embrace it. I know that being daft is perfect for me right now and I’m going with the daft flow.  I’m being vulnerable, I’m being selfish, I’m being real.  I give permission to the daft and I welcome it.  It’s like a soft blanket of sweet childishness. Being daft right now means I have a freedom when it comes to taking care of myself, or telling others what I want, and to do as much or as little of what I feel capable of doing and giving right now …

And in this state of being, work has not been a priority, but then the world turns in such a way that without even trying, I am suddenly given new opportunities and new clients … And even in these strange and newly motherless times – when I speak and when I coach, I forego ‘daft’ and create magic instead …

So being soft and being daft has allowed friends and strangers to care for me and support me even more than they have before.  And from surrendering in this way, I’ve gained so much.  I’ve grown so much.  And who knows, I may just stay openly daft, to everyone, for ever …  Or the hard shell, with the cracks in it, may return … Yet somehow I predict that there will be more raw, deft daftness; more freedom and more expansion of my soul … Yes – after the daftness comes the light and so it is that I have moved from one four lettered word – d a f t to another – l o v e.

Now both daftness and love define me – and so it is that I have written yet another Peachey Letter to Love.

Yours beguilingly, blondely and daftly

              S xx

PS: Daftness, love, creativity, caring… it’s all in the book version of Peachey Letters – follow this link to find out more…

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