Number 20 out of 28: This piece is part a Blog Challenge to write and publish a post, every day of the 28 days of February 2015, from Coach and Writer Sandra Peachey – the author of ‘Peachey Letters – Love Letters to Life’.
Beyond The Peachey Pride of three cats and my human self, there is a continuum of and connection to many other cats… There are the cats who are a part of friend’s lives; there are the many images I see on Social media; and there are the memories of many cats, living and passed on that I have known over a life time shared with them.
And amongst the many memories I have, are some stored away about a delicious little she cat called ‘Peanut’. She lived with my ex boy friend Cliff and she was a true gem of gorgeous girl. Peanut’s major trait was her sweet stupidity – hence her name, since her brain was as small as the proverbial nut… She never seemed to understand commands, tried to walk through (rather than over or round) objects and generally / happily seemed to have a low cat IQ. And no one ever minded this, since she was so sweet tempered and good natured, that what ever she may have lost in cat-like cleverness, she always absolutely gained in childish charm.
When I moved in with Cliff I knew that Peanut had a limited time to live. She was an old lady by then and her kidneys were gradually failing her. We charted her decline with sad hearts and then one day, came the awful day when she left – us and life, aided by the vet who came to our home. Quickly and quietly she died in the arms of two people she loved. I reflected at the time that it was a good way to go, but still I remember that it was a few years before I could think of that furry little friend of mine without feeling tearful.
That first horrible shock of loss has now slowly transmogrified over time into warm and happy memories… And Peanut is not the first cat lost from my life and she probably will not be the last, so I wanted to write a love letter to her and all the other feline companions from my past and future, for myself and my friends and for any one who will read this, who has ever lost a beloved pet in recent or long lived ago time.
Dear Loved One
You are gone. No more here in flesh and fur. Never to be by my side, ever again. Never to rub against my legs, to meow for food or love, nor to purr and gently paw at me.
It is time, greatly to grieve, and to let out my tears, allowing my sorrow its’ way out of my soul. Time to be sad. Time to just feel loss and lost.
It is a sweet, deep, natural thing, the love for an animal, for not tied by human complications or obligations, it fills a special sweet part of the heart with it’s own best kind of pureness and simplicity. With it gone, there is a sudden breach of sense and place as there is with all types of loss.
Along with loss, it is time too to celebrate you – to give thanks for knowing you and to thank you for being in my life.
So what was so special about you? Let me remember the myriad ways.
You my friend, were a gift from and a creature of, God. All of you magnificent creatures, in what ever pet form you take (cat, dog, rabbit, goldfish, mouse, etc, etc) are on loan to us lucky humans. That you were on loan for what feels like too short time feels hard to bear.
But what a gift you were and are my friend! I learnt so much from you, got so many purrs and rubs, got so much laughter and pleasure and so now I want to choose your loving legacy.
So… you were a gorgeous gift tied up with proverbial red ribbon (and you being you, the ribbon wouldn’t stay on for long…).
You were a kitten gift to me – a fluffy ball of wonder and laughter, of teases and scratches, off mewing and purring.
As a gift from God, you were on life loan to me and such a gorgeous present in so many feline ways, showing me how to live life constantly in glorious cat techni-colour, matching the colours and tones of your fascinating fur.
You were so many things to me – so giving, loving and deliciously capricious. You padded along the lanes of life with me, leaping and sleeping through it with your easy grace and soothing purrs.
Now matter how long we were together, it feels like you were taken from life too soon. Too soon for us, any way. Is that fair for any one? That is what I have felt, but not what I know, when I think with love of where we are. For me, the most comforting knowing is that you had your time. That was the thing about you my friend, it was always YOUR time and so thank you, so much for giving it to me. That is indeed a very rare gift.
I am allowing myself time to grieve and be sad, for that honours what I felt for you, my furry friend. Because you gave me so much, I feel so much now. Yet I shall celebrate you too. To rejoice in the distinct spark of living light that you were.
And, my Little One, what ever any one thinks about what is next, nothing changes that I knew you, that you will stay in me and with me for ever, and that you made such a marvellous difference to me. Yes you, sweet friend, were and are a true giving gift.
I miss you so much and constantly think that you are near, but the body was just one part of you, so farewell to that one physical element of you, my little lion… the gorgeous, perfect gift from God that you are, were and will always will be, to me.
With love, strokes and scritches…
From me xx
PS: Some time later Cliff and I parted company, yet I am always grateful for the gift of Peanut the cat in my life and I can never thank him enough for the fact that he also gave me the present of my perfect puss, the lucky black cat that is Taz, too.
PPS: Did you know that a collection of my ‘Peachey Letters’ have been gathered together in to a beautiful book, cats and all? I’m completely biased of course, but it makes a purrfect present, whether you be a cat lover or no. All of human life is in this gorgeous book – all the fear, light, dark, and of course love, for any one who wants to be entertained and to know that they are not alone in life, what ever it holds for you, even if it isn’t all about cats… You can buy ‘Peachey Letters – Love Letters to Life’ from book websites any where in the world, including Amazon (in both Paperback and Kindle)…