It’s not me.
My name’s not anxiety.
I’m not a sufferer.
That’s not what I choose to be.
But what it is,
is a coil wound tight within.
Centred in my solar plexus
and curling a fist round my heart.
Another hairy hand reaches into my beautiful brain,
flicking my neurons and kicking my thoughts.
Then running them ragged – round and round.
And that’s just on the inside…
Outside the world goes on… Innocently or ignorantly.
Pushing my alarm buttons. Red for ragging bulls.
Starting stories and then stalling the ending;
keeping me waiting for the final fatal denouement.
Please just tell me what’s next. It saves my frazzled brain
from creating a thousand relentless stories.
Without the truth I have to surmise surprises.
And when you are silent, I swop the white noise for inevitable pain.
I fill the void with words – writing the book of our story badly.
In the worse chapters I’m screaming, screwed to the floor.
Or I’m forced to push and poke, shouting for an answer.
So spare me and talk to me. I don’t want a 1000 words, just the final one.
Don’t make me the tail wagging the dragon of dangerous decisions.
Go easy on me, and free us both from the rigid complexity of history.
Stop this silence and your burrowing in the dark.
You are only throwing up stones where you should see the sun.
The darkness is obscuring my face, while you avert your eyes.
So you don’t see me, hear me, or feel my faltering fear.
It’s not me this anxiety, it’s not my name, or the vein of my life.
So just open your heart and your ears to free us, so we can just be;
Who we are and not just a problem with the label of anxiety.
~ Sandra Peachey – Anxious Poetess
I have a special offer… You can buy the paperback of my ‘Love Letters to Life’ on Amazon for £11.99 or you can get an author signed copy on my website – for just £7.99 including P&P…
‘Peachey Letters – Love Letters to Life’ takes the best posts from this blog, adds new content and wraps it all together in a sweet bookish structure.
It’s an easy yet satisfying read, which sees love in everything we do in life – from the big themes to the tiny, trivial minutiae of it too.
- Buy the paperback on my website – here for just £7.99 including P&P…
- Or get it from Amazon for £11.99 and from all great book websites anywhere in the world.
- You can also buy it in Kindle format…
My external plaudits include the following – being:
* The Director of LifeWork Consultancy & Coaching;
* The Author of Peachey Letters – Love Letters to Life and Co-Author of The F-Factor.
* A 2015 International Book Awards Finalist, in the Women’s Issues Category;
* The Winner of a Women Inspiring Women Award in 2013;
* Being shortlisted for Women’s Coach in the APCTC Awards 2014, also nominated in 2012 & 2013; and
* Being nominated for a Networking Mummies National Recognition Award in 2015.