Love Letter to Birthdays

 

Dearest Day Image

So here you are again – the repetition of the day of my birth; the clock ticking tide of reminder; the chance to celebrate my coming into being…

I’ve always considered my self blessed with my birth day, since it sits at the glorious apex of summer – on the day after the summer solstice; so for me, summertime is birthday time and I have (nearly) the longest, loveliest day to stretch out my ministrations and celebrations.

I’ve been on the planet now for over half a century… That fact is crazy and it is simply so – the years have clicked around the clock thousands upon thousands of times and I am changed with the clock, that is true; but if you knew the blond haired child version of me – some things have definitely stayed the same… one important one being that I have always created and imagined and written my words out… They spread and spin out from me and they are a gratefully received gift… I trace some of their origins through family and happenstance, and all those things are combined in me, resulting in scratching pen to paper and tapping onto the keyboard – all doleful and joyful and anarchical and sacred – nouns, verbs and conjugations, all into my own pattern, forming their patented Peachey being…

I actually can’t remember very many birthdays in my conscious mind… And I can only remember flashes of childhood birthdays, of cakes and candles and people coming to the parties. But then concentrated remembrance brings along with it more memories, and so more summer birthday days come back to me…

When I was 10 the church hall was hired… I felt so special… Sandwiches and sausage rolls waited on wooden tables to be devoured, and jelly shivered in paper bowls in sprinkled anticipation… The son of my neighbour came – he was a teenager then and he spontaneously performed a kind of slap stick comedy routine for me, for himself and for my friends, as we shrieked out our childish laughter in return. And oddly he is gone now, that teenage boy who became a man and a father, taken early from life, but still held in my memory…

No so long before this day I had been bullied by 3 boys, who had menaced me for dinner money on the way to and from school, and warned of dire consequences if I ‘told’… It was a terrifying time… Eventually though my mother found out and the boys were very publically punished and caned, as was the way back then… Yet outside of the church hall on that birthday day, one of the bullies appeared. He was in appeasement mode and gave me money as a birthday gift. Money – the very thing he had menaced me for!

I accepted the gift in good grace and without fear. Even back then I had a hate of unfinished business and a love of healing forgiveness and now, this boy had closed that circle and it was safe to forgive and move on… 

So that day went beyond celebration to closure and was extra special because of it.

Now, as an adult, I still most definitely believe in the act of gratitude and celebration, and when I imbue my day with that gorgeous spirit, all is well. 

On other birthday days there have been arrangements and decisions and wondering whether any one would join in and I have regretted the strange effort I have afforded to saying – look at me – asking for your attention! 

And when the attention didn’t come or the invites weren’t acknowledged, it was crazily crushing – I imbued them with stupid significance and felt insignificant as a result. I changed the deal, rocked some boats as a result and messed up for a myriad of heated and hated reasons. Now I regret those ego tussles and the fear that came with them. I wonder if for some people I know things may never be the same as a result.

But then I remember too that the bully came back to me with his shiny silver and so I believe, with love, that it will either become unimportant in the big scheme of things, or is / will be forgiven or forgotten or that may be it was time to change and some how, in some way, that we can all roll onto the next circle in this spiral of life.

Now though I am slowed and it simply feels calmer and easier to say, I am celebrating my day, join me in what way you will… And so every quiet response and gift is a gratitude gorgeously received.

So I can wrestle with my ego or I can embrace my life and so I choose indeed, to encircle and embrace what I am and what I have…

Today is my birthday. I have been given the magnificent gift of life, through many years; through timely transitions and random routines. Yes that gift terrifies me at times, but not today – on my own day of days, it is, in every way – the present

I am here, I am me and in the world wide view I humbly want to be a catalyst for change in this world. I know in some senses I have influenced and supported and made a small difference, so I am good with that and that knowledge is a gift too. 

But for today, just let me eat cake and enjoy the sunshine and lift a glass of champagne to life, to love and to lots of laughter.

♫ Happy Birthday Dear Sandra, Happy Birthday to you! ♪

From

   Me xxx

The author of this ‘Love Letter to Life’ has written a whole book of love letters, for you to peruse, to dip into or to read from cover to cover – whether to answer, to celebrate or know you are not alone. You buy your own copy of Peachey Letters – Love Letters to Life on Amazon and book websites around the world, in both paperback and Kindle.

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