So it has to be said, I was definitely suffering from Chris-stress this time last week…. Feeling under the weather, tired and overwhelmed by my long Christmas To Do List…

I’m normally smugly ahead of the Christmas game, with consciously learnt habits from many years of honing my festive routine down to a very well-oiled tee.

But somehow Christmas had sneakily crept up on me, only tapping me on the shoulder at the last minute, to stab my brain with shouts of all I had to do in now concentrated calendar time…

I threw myself into the toil of Christmas and celebrated my efforts with tears of self pity and frustration.

Then I stopped.

I breathed deeply.

I thought about my priorities… Which were how I and the people in my life that I love, wanted to feel, to be… Not all the things I (so called) had to do.

And in that frame of heart, with my eye on the emotional prize, I reassessed my To Does. I crossed things off the list – including writing and sending Christmas cards; took some shortcuts; and gave myself permission to do less, all with good grace…

This isn’t a Christmas Compromise. It’s one where by letting go, I have stepped into my power. Not selfishly, but with love – because by taking care of my own heart first, I can give so much more to all those that live within it…

Somehow this letting go gave me a push of energy and I set to and wrote my Christmas cards, made mince pies, iced my Christmas cake, put up decorations and wrapped presents, after all. And I got it all done in a few hours because I let go of perfection and expectation (of others AND myself).

Years ago I remember watching my mother crying with stressed frustration over Christmas Day dinner preparations. I tried to help, but so often she would find it hard to let go. My heart went out to her and eventually the time came when I got to take charge of the Christmas catering for my family.

It’s one of the few meals I make ‘from scratch’. And sometimes I burn the pigs in blankets or boil the sprouts for too long, or it’s not ready till late afternoon, but that’s all unimportant to me. I let it go. I make that meal with love, relaxing into the preparations, taking my time, singing along to corny festive songs on the radio, bringing the myriad of ingredients into a united whole and serving it up, unapologetically with a smile.

But before I get to that day again, I’ve wanted to stop and take stock…

So yesterday, after my corporate work was done, I queued through city traffic to visit the grave of my mother and father – to lay a Christmas wreath at their heads and tell them that I love them. I was the only living person there, though around me, there were baubles, lights and tributes for so many other loved ones too. I blew mum and dad a kiss and left to climb back into my car, to wait my turn at traffic lights and sigh through the slow crawl back home, which took 3 times as long as usual…

And I know that Christmas can be hard for so many, for so many different reasons…

Calls to the Samaritans Telephone Help Line increase exponentially at this time of year. Mental health concerns, loneliness and isolation, family, and relationship issues were so often the common themes of calls to them during December 2021.

So please, put yourself first this Christmas… Be honest with those who surround you about how you feel and if you need help. And help comes in many forms, so please use and share the numbers shown at the beginning of this post if you or anyone you know is struggling at this or any other time of the year.

Sending love and best wishes to you this holiday season. S x